As a family law attorney here in Texas, I’ve known many clients who spend weeks, months, even years daydreaming about their divorce. Some might be fantasizing about a whole new life, but few are thinking about the practical steps they need to take to make that divorce materialize. That’s why I like clients like Gina who know the best first step is to call me as soon as they realize they are ready to turn their dreams about getting divorced into reality.
“Chris, I’ve been dreaming about leaving Tom for years now. At night, during the day. The thoughts have been all consuming,” said Gina when she called me. “It’s like I’ve been planning my new life in my mind for years. But really, I haven’t been planning much of anything. Just more like dreaming up a life far away from him. I actually have no idea how to make it happen.”
“Don’t doubt yourself Gina,” I told her. “You called me today. That’s a fundamental part of your plan. Too many people start making plans before they get any legal guidance and start down the wrong path.”
“You mean like gathering all sorts of ammunition to use in the custody battle?” she asked.
“Yes, that’s one example, and that could be a part of your overall plan, but I like to start off helping clients see the big picture, and work back into the details like what will make your house the best place for the kids to live most of the time,” I explained. “There is a lot to plan for and much of the preparation is dull and tedious. But it’s necessary to make your case.”
“I hear you Chris, it sounds like all the stuff I don’t want to think about. I’ve mostly been planning on how to tell him I’m leaving, how to tell the kids, and how to tell you I’m ready to file the papers,” said Gina.
“Well you are doing a good job of telling me and those other conversations are important to plan for as well,” I said. “Please give me a chance to go over planning for a Texas divorce in general. You’ll see you took an important first step by calling me. Once you have an overview and know you are headed in the right direction, we can look at the details of your case.”
“Right on Chris, let’s get to it,” she said.
Divorce is rarely smooth and easy. However, knowing how to plan for a divorce like Gina can make a challenging process much more manageable, and it can also set the stage for important post-divorce considerations, such as estate planning. This involves understanding the legal, financial, and emotional aspects and taking proactive steps. This post offers an expert guide on how to plan for divorce in Texas, covering the crucial steps that lead to a smoother transition, including reviewing life insurance policies to secure the future of your dependents.
How to Plan for Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide
1. Assemble Your Team
Divorce can feel isolating, so building a support system is helpful. This could include family and friends but also consider these professionals:
- Legal Counsel: A qualified divorce lawyer is crucial for understanding Texas divorce laws and gathering relevant information. This attorney will advise you about your rights, handle legal documents, and represent you in court, if necessary. Look for an experienced divorce attorney in Texas who specializes in collaborative, mediated, or adversarial divorce proceedings.
- Financial Advisor: A financial advisor specializing in divorce helps you analyze your finances. They will also assist with budgeting and develop a financial strategy for your post-divorce life. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can provide specialized expertise in this area.
- Therapist or Counselor: A therapist offers emotional support and helps process the complex emotions tied to divorce. They can also help you establish coping strategies during this challenging time.
2. Gather Important Documents
Organizing essential legal documents is vital for financial transparency. Create a divorce checklist to ensure you gather information you need. It’s essential to stay organized.
These documents may include:
- Financial documents such as bank accounts, credit card statements, tax returns, retirement plan, investment accounts, personal loans, student loans, and loan documents. Understand your marital property, including income, debts, and shared expenses. This will help your lawyer and CDFA do accurate evaluations and assessments.
- Legal documents such as marriage license, prenuptial agreements, property deeds, and titles. Ensure all relevant legal documentation is in one place.
- Personal records such as birth certificates, Social Security cards, passports, and school records. Secure these important personal documents early in the divorce process.Make copies of these documents. Gathering financial records is even more crucial in a contested divorce. It’s also important to understand your financial situation in an uncontested divorce. Gathering relevant documents early will help you plan better and understand your obligations.
3. Secure Your Finances
Financial security is paramount during a divorce. Open a separate bank account early in the process. Establish credit in your name if you haven’t already.
Begin saving, setting up an individual budget, and reviewing your credit report to prepare yourself for your financial future after the divorce.
4. Inventory Your Assets and Liabilities
A detailed inventory is necessary for property division in Texas.
A thorough inventory should include:
- Real estate such as your marital home, rental properties, and investment properties, as well as any insurance policies that might affect your financial planning post-divorce. Document all jointly owned real estate.
- Vehicles including cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc. List all vehicles and their respective ownership status.
- Personal property like your furniture, jewelry, valuable items, etc. Create a detailed list of personal belongings.
- Debts including mortgages, credit cards, joint accounts, personal loans, etc. List all joint debts and individual debts.
Separate and Community Property in Texas
Familiarize yourself with the difference between separate and community property under Texas law. Separate property includes funds from before the marriage, inheritances, and lawsuit settlements. Community property is generally acquired during the marriage. Understanding the difference between marital property and separate property is important for property division.
5. Think Through Housing and Childcare (If Applicable)
Think through your living arrangements after your divorce, and also consider your health insurance needs, especially if your spouse has been providing coverage. Decide who will have primary child custody and handle childcare. If possible, discuss extracurricular activities and current child care situations. Keep a detailed list of your child’s school records, medical information, and any other documents related to your child.
Be sure to create a stable living situation is key for both you and your children by covering the following topics:
- Custody Arrangements – Discuss custody arrangements with your spouse and a Texas family law attorney. Involving family and children in the discussions can help everyone understand the reasoning behind decisions. This can also lessen some of the grief associated with divorce.
- Child Support Calculations – Determine child support obligations under Texas law. Consider income, healthcare costs, and childcare expenses. Think about costs beyond basic child support needs, like medical bills, extracurricular activities, and maintaining a standard of living.
- Visitation Schedules – Develop visitation schedules that are feasible and beneficial for the child. Consider the emotional and logistical adjustments everyone will need to make. Clear visitation schedules can help prevent challenges from your ex later on.
6. Consult With an Attorney
Early on, consult with an experienced divorce lawyer. Discuss the cost of divorce, your legal rights, financial considerations, and responsibilities as a spouse and parent.
Seek legal advice about spousal support, child custody, and the division of assets. This advice will help you make informed decisions.
Familiarize yourself with the legally valid reasons for divorce in Texas. Divorce timelines vary by jurisdiction and case complexity. Simple, uncontested divorces or a collaborative divorce might conclude in a few months.
Contested divorces can take much longer. Understanding the timeline helps you plan and manage expectations.
FAQs about How to Plan for Divorce
What is the first thing to do when you want a divorce?
Consult with a Texas divorce lawyer. They can explain the divorce process in Texas, your rights, and the legal implications of your decisions.
Who suffers more financially after divorce?
While both parties typically experience some financial hardship, studies suggest women are often worse off financially post-divorce. This is frequently attributed to issues regarding income distribution and alimony. Common financial questions include determining alimony, calculating child support, dividing retirement accounts (including QDROs), and gathering financial records.
Consider the implications of telling your spouse you want a divorce, as a poorly-handled conversation may negatively affect legal proceedings.
How do I organize my finances before divorce?
Gather all bank statements, including bank accounts, credit card accounts, investment and retirement accounts, tax returns from the past two to five years, and any existing court orders related to financial or custody arrangements. Also collect any documents related to loans, bills, and other debts.
Open a separate bank account and track your personal expenses. Organize financial records to facilitate asset division and ensure a fair division of property.
Who comes out better in divorce?
There’s no definitive answer. Every divorce is unique, and outcomes vary depending on individual circumstances. The best case scenario might be a fair settlement when both parties end up happy with the outcome.
Conclusion
Knowing how to plan for a divorce minimizes stress and protects your interests. Planning for your divorce is not just about creating a winning strategy, but also about cultivating a smooth transition to the next chapter of your life. This may include understanding if your spouse is hiding assets, setting personal boundaries, and addressing issues like suspected infidelity or substance abuse.
Protect your well-being during this process. Consider how to discuss the divorce with your children and address their emotional needs. Remember that divorce takes time, depending on the complexities of your situation and where you file in Texas.
Gathering relevant information, including text messages and social media posts related to your spouse’s behavior, is essential for building a strong case. A good lawyer will guide you thoroughly on how to plan for your divorce, ensuring your rights are protected.
How does Gina like her Plan?
“I guess planning on telling him what a jerk he is and how he ruined my life isn’t really the plan I should implement,” Gina joked with me after gaining an understanding of what her plan really needs to involve.
“No Gina, but there is space for releasing your emotions. I’ll be your point person on the law, but building out your support system will be great for your emotional well being too,” I told her. “Do you have family members and friends you can talk to about all this?”
“Well, the problem is my family never really supported my decision to marry Tom so I’m worried I’ll get all sorts of we-told-you-so-type comments,” she confided. “I do have friends who understand my situation and have been seeing a therapist so I think I have the emotional support system I need.”
“Great, how about somebody to help you with your finances?” I asked.
“What finances? Who has any finances these days?” she said. “I mean that’s part of the problem we’ve been having. Just not enough money and different approaches to what to do with the money we do have. I like to save, and am pretty good at it. He likes to buy, buy, buy, even if we have to put it on the credit card we can’t pay off.”
“Well if you are a saver, you must have some money put away, and if so, that’s reason enough to consult a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. I can connect you to a few options,” I informed her.
“That’s a good idea, I am worried about how I’ll manage post divorce. If I add a CDFA, I’ll have a full team in place, right?” she inquired.
“Yes, Gina, you will. And that team will be able to guide you through the details of your divorce plan. You’ll have the legal, financial, and emotional elements all covered,” I assured her. “And I’ll be your unofficial captain if that’s okay with you. I’ll watch the timeline, communicate with the others as necessary, and oversee everything so that your divorce goes as smoothly as possible on all fronts. How’s that for a plan?”
“That sounds great Cap. I feel so much better now that we have an actual plan. Thanks Chris,” she said.
“I’m glad. Next step, we take a deep breath, make sure you are ready to file the formal papers, and plan to reconvene in person on Monday to get moving on the details. Oh, and I’ll email you the websites for a few CDFA’s you can look into in the meantime.”
Schedule a Consultation With Our Firm to Find Out How to Plan for your Texas Divorce
Trying to plan for a Texas divorce can be stressful and challenging, but you do not have to face it alone. Our team of experienced Dallas family attorneys is ready to provide you with the guidance, support, and legal advocacy you need during these challenging times.
Whether you are planning for divorce in Texas, or navigating other divorce related issues, we are here to help you every step of the way. We welcome you to schedule a consultation to discuss your situation and case objectives. We can answer your legal questions and discuss how we can help you move forward. Call our law office at (888) 584-9614 or contact us online to schedule your consultation.
