As an experienced family law attorney here in Texas, I’ve seen my fair share of clients who bury their heads in the sand and know virtually nothing about getting divorced as their marriage falls apart. James was one of them. He came to me right after he and his wife decided they really were headed for divorce.
“Chris, I knew it was coming, but I thought if I researched the divorce process, it might make me really want to go ahead with it,” James said. “You know, like, if I knew there was a clear process in place that wouldn’t be so bad, I’d stop trying to fix my marriage and just go for the divorce.”
“That’s an interesting take, James. So what do you know about the process?” I asked him.
“Pretty much nothing, only what my sister told me about her divorce, but that was in another state. And you know how sisters in distress can talk, so I barely listened,” James responded.
“So we’re going to have to start from square one, but that’s okay, I’m prepared,” I told him. “I have a guide for people exactly in your situation. You’re not the only one who comes in knowing nothing.”
“That’s a relief. I thought maybe I was being foolish,” he said
“You can always catch up on the process. I will say you are one of the few who stuck his head in the sand and claimed they did it so as not to stop working on their marriage,” I said. “But I get it; if my good friends think they might be headed for divorce, they know they have me ready to help, so they might skip the fight to save the marriage and just proceed to the divorce with a level of comfort most people don’t have.”
“Yes, exactly. I didn’t want to feel comfortable proceeding toward divorce, so I stayed ignorant. You get where I’m coming from?” he asked.
“I do, and I also get where you are going,” I said. “Please let me share my guide that will go over the top strategies for divorce and how to navigate the process.”
Divorce is tough, but using practical tools can make the divorce process easier for James and anybody in similar circumstances. In this post, you’ll find clear tips for getting ready legally and financially and building a support system. We’ll walk you through understanding Texas state laws, setting financial goals, and creating a divorce plan. We want to help you face this tough time with confidence and clarity. In many divorce cases, it’s hard on families, so be prepared.
Disclaimer: The information in this post is for general guidance only and is not legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship. Always consult a law firm or attorney for advice specific to your situation.
Key Takeaways
- Thorough preparation for divorce means understanding Texas state laws, organizing finances, and building a support system for a smooth transition.
- Creating a clear divorce plan involves talking to a lawyer, gathering financial records, and setting specific goals to manage the complexity of the process.
- Post-divorce adjustment means embracing personal growth, building new relationships, and planning for the future to find a new purpose.
Preparing for Divorce
Preparing for divorce includes focusing on emotional, legal, and practical details. You need to take control and make informed decisions about your own divorce. By planning ahead, you can make the divorce process more orderly and peaceful. This way, you can focus on important tasks like learning about your legal rights, organizing your finances, and building a support system. Before you file for divorce, try to get all parts of your life in line – school, job, credit card accounts, housing – so the transition can go more smoothly.
In many divorce cases, keeping organized from the start is key because ignoring important details early on can make divorce negotiations harder. Managing emotional stress is also crucial. Addressing these areas helps you go through divorce with dignity and come out stronger.
Below, we’ll go through three areas of preparation: understanding Texas state laws, financial planning, and building a support network.
Texas Law
In Texas, you must have lived in the state for at least 6 months and in the county where you file for divorce for at least 90 days. There are many reasons you can file for divorce in Texas. Some are fault-based, like cruelty, adultery, felony conviction, abandonment, living separate and apart, and confinement in a mental hospital. There’s also a no-fault option called insupportability.
You need to know Texas family law well. Laws change and affect things like child support, grounds for divorce, and property division. Child custody laws are important, too. They determine how custody and parenting responsibilities are shared. This affects how parents care for their children during divorce. In some cases, domestic violence can impact custody or property decisions. By learning Texas family law, you can navigate the legal process more smoothly and protect your interests.
Financial Planning
Creating a budget that fits new post-divorce living expenses is key to financial stability. Gather your financial records – incomes, expenses, assets, debts, and tax returns – so you can make better decisions during the divorce.
Talk to a financial advisor for guidance on managing financial assets and responsibilities during and after divorce. Having a long-term plan for your finances is critical to building financial independence and adjusting to your new situation. Addressing these money issues early gives you a solid foundation for the future.
Source: Divorce Rate in Texas | The Latest Statistics [Updated 2024]
Building a Support Network
A strong support network is essential for handling the emotional side of divorce. Friends, family, and others close to you can offer emotional support and reduce stress. Look for people who are positive and good listeners or who share the same interests. This can help you handle the emotional weight of divorce more easily.
Support groups also reduce the sense of isolation by bringing together people with similar experiences. Whether you’re moms or dads going through this transition, these groups provide shared wisdom and emotional reassurance so you can stay strong as you move forward.
Creating a Divorce Plan
Having a clear divorce plan is necessary for working through the complexity of ending a marriage. In high-conflict divorces, the need for extensive legal representation becomes obvious due to the length of time and level of legal involvement required. Every situation is unique, so you should learn about different divorce options to create a plan that suits your needs.
Research all your options to see which one fits your situation:
- Litigation
- Self-representation
- Collaboration
- Mediation
Organization and note-taking are also important for managing your divorce. Many factors can impact your divorce strategy, including the length of your marriage, if you have children, your employment status, and personal needs. A clear plan will keep you focused on the big picture and guide you through the divorce process more smoothly.
Also, meet with an attorney and start saving money before you file for divorce. Think about potential divorce expenses like filing fees, attorney fees, and hearing costs. This planning can prevent financial surprises. Below, we’ll go through three parts of this plan: talking to a divorce lawyer, gathering financial records, and setting clear goals.
Talking to a Divorce Lawyer
An attorney who knows local divorce laws can provide valuable insight and protect your rights. A divorce lawyer can shape your divorce strategy and walk you through the process, making sure your concerns are addressed. High-conflict divorces often require more extensive legal representation due to the length of time and complexity of the issues. Good communication with your attorney will help you protect your legal rights.
Consulting a reputable law firm can also make your divorce simpler. If your spouse has hired an attorney, you should strongly consider hiring a divorce attorney, too, so you are not at a disadvantage. An experienced attorney can guide you through the divorce process and help you if spousal support becomes an issue.
Gathering Financial Records
Organizing your finances is a big part of any divorce strategy. Gathering information about your income, expenses, assets and debts will help you understand how the divorce will affect your money. This information will decide how property is divided and what support may be required.
Be fair; share all assets and debts when gathering financial records. Having everything in order can also help you avoid roadblocks along the way.
Setting Clear Goals
Clear goals are key to a well-managed divorce process. When you define your objectives it’s easier to make decisions and stay on course. For example, specifying what you want for child custody and child support can make negotiations smoother, leading to a fair settlement.
Well defined goals can also help you handle disagreements, so you can reach solutions more quickly. Having these goals lets you focus on what matters most so you can move forward more confidently.
Child Custody and Co-Parenting Strategies
Starting to plan for child custody and co-parenting at the beginning can reduce stress during the divorce. It’s best to create a stable environment for the kids and not bring them into parental conflicts.
This section covers three key points: understanding conservatorship, making a parenting plan and communicating with the other parent.
Conservatorship
In Texas, child custody is often referred to as conservatorship. Several things impact custody decisions such as the child’s preference, each parent’s ability to care for the child and the child’s health and safety.
Texas usually favors Joint Managing Conservatorship where both parents share the big decisions and responsibilities for the child.
Parenting Plan
A solid parenting plan adds consistency to the rules and schedules in each parent’s home. These plans often cover:
- Holidays
- Education
- Healthcare decisions
If parents can’t agree on a plan the court steps in and decides what’s best for the child.
Communicating with the Other Parent
Clear calm communication reduces conflicts and promotes better co-parenting. It’s helpful to set up regular check-ins so you can both stay focused on the child’s needs. Co-parenting apps like our family wizard can help parents stay organized, share schedules and manage important information.
Therapy can also be helpful in learning how to communicate effectively and solve problems which is especially important during high conflict divorces.
The Legal Process
There are several mandatory steps in the legal process of divorce: filing, serving and finalizing. Having important documents in order ahead of time will prevent extra delays or expenses.
In this section we will go through three key points: filing for divorce, mediation and collaborative divorce and finalizing the divorce.
Filing for Divorce
Filing for divorce in Texas means submitting a Petition for Divorce to the correct court. You must file in the district court of the county where you or your spouse have lived for at least 90 days.
Once you file your papers your spouse must be served with them which officially informs them that divorce proceedings have started.
Mediation and Collaborative Divorce
Mediation uses a neutral third party to help spouses settle disagreements without going to court. It’s voluntary in Texas and can make the divorce settlement easier to reach.
In a collaborative divorce both spouses and their attorneys work together to find an agreement that meets everyone’s needs.
Finalizing the Divorce
A Final Decree of Divorce is a court order that ends the marriage and details child custody, child support and how assets are divided. You must give your signed divorce agreement to the court for approval.
Texas has a 60 day waiting period starting at the time one spouse files the Petition for Divorce which must pass before the divorce can be finalized.
Financial Matters
Financial matters during a divorce require negotiation and attention to detail. Having at least three months of savings can make the initial divorce period easier. Accurate financial documentation is key to an equitable division of assets.
In this section we will discuss protecting your credit, dividing assets fairly and rebuilding financial independence.
Protecting Your Credit
You can use individual credit cards to rebuild your credit during or after divorce. Keep track of joint accounts while the divorce is in progress to avoid unauthorized debts. Also, watch your social media posts to make sure you’re not revealing spending habits or other personal details.
Equitable Division of Assets
During divorce physical property and financial accounts may need to be divided. In Texas, most property and assets collected during the marriage are considered community property. Factors that impact how community property is divided include each spouse’s earning ability, overall health and contributions to the marriage.
Correctly evaluating and organizing assets ensures the division is done fairly.
Rebuilding Financial Independence
You can better handle life after divorce by creating a new financial plan that accounts for your new financial situation. Creating an emergency fund is a good first step towards stability.
Long term planning for your financial future can help you become truly independent and secure.
Source: Divorce Rate in Texas | The Latest Statistics [Updated 2024]
Emotional Stress
It’s important to recognize emotional responses to divorce so you can cope in a healthy way. Don’t make decisions based on anger or guilt. Reconnecting with old friends can be a big help after a divorce.
Below we will cover three ways to manage stress: seeking professional help, practicing self-care and joining support groups.
Seeking Professional Help
Therapy or counseling during divorce can give you much needed emotional support. It will teach you how to deal with stress and loss in healthier, more productive ways.
Practicing Self-Care
Activities like meditation and yoga can help you stay emotionally balanced during a divorce. Making time for self-care during post-divorce recovery can lead to emotional healing and personal growth.
Joining Support Groups
Support groups can provide a sense of community and belonging during a tough time. These groups allow you to talk about your feelings and reduce loneliness.
Hearing from others in similar situations can make you feel less alone and more understood.
Avoiding Common Mistakes
Being aware of your state laws can help you avoid major mistakes when it comes to child custody or dividing assets during divorce. Moving too fast is one common mistake and can lead to financial or emotional harm. People in Texas divorces often make errors like:
- Moving too fast
- Ignoring tax implications
- Not planning for the long term financially
- Letting emotions get the best of you
Below we will cover three mistakes to avoid: moving too fast, neglecting documentation and involving children in conflicts.
Moving Too Fast
When you accept the first offer without thinking it through you risk getting a deal that might not serve you well. It’s smarter to think before you leap so your decisions align with your long term goals.
Neglecting Documentation
Not paying attention to the paperwork you sign can have long term effects on your divorce outcome. Detailed documentation of both financial and legal matters is key.
Keeping complete records prevents problems and confusion later on.
Involving Children in Conflicts
Don’t bring children into adult conflicts. This can create anxiety and insecurity for them. By setting rules for communication you can focus on parenting issues separate from personal disputes.
Life After Divorce
After the divorce you may have to redefine who you are and set new goals. Entering this next chapter can lead to personal change and a more fulfilling life. Taking on new activities can also stimulate growth and help you adapt to being single.
We will look at three elements of moving on: getting used to single life, forming new relationships and planning for the future.
Adjusting to Single Life
Adapting to being single may mean living alone and exploring self growth. Though divorce can be tough it can also open the door to a healthier life.
Some good steps might include rediscovering hobbies or trying to meet new friends.
Building New Relationships
It’s often wise to let yourself heal before starting a new relationship. Knowing your boundaries and wants can lead to healthier connections.
Think about your own patterns and give yourself time to grow. This prevents you from repeating past mistakes.
Planning for the Future
Setting goals after divorce can guide you toward personal growth and a vision for your life going forward. Rebuilding your finances could involve careful budgeting and possibly consulting a financial advisor for added security.
Being positive about new possibilities can give you purpose and hope.
FAQs Regarding: Preparing for Divorce
What are the common grounds for divorce in Texas?
What is the mandatory waiting period for divorce in Texas?
Should I move out of the house before or after filing for divorce?
How do I separate finances before divorce?
What are the 3 C’s of divorce?
FAQs About: Child Custody and Parenting
What is child custody referred to in Texas?
What typically happens if parents cannot agree on a parenting plan in Texas?
What is a Child Support Worksheet?
FAQs About: The Legal Process
Can we use the same attorney for divorce?
How do I prepare for a successful divorce mediation?
FAQs About: Financial Matters
What is spousal maintenance?
When does alimony end?
How do I divide retirement accounts during divorce?
What are the tax implications of divorce?
How can I protect my business assets during a divorce?
How do I minimize legal fees during divorce?
FAQs Regarding: Emotional Well-Being
What can I do to protect my mental health during a high conflict divorce?
FAQs About: Common Mistakes & Strategies
What are sneaky tactics in divorce?
What are effective ways to negotiate a fair divorce settlement?
Conclusion
In summary managing the divorce process involves preparation, a divorce strategy and emotional resilience. By learning about state laws, organizing your finances (including looking over tax returns) and having a support network you can feel confident at each step. Keeping your goals in mind and avoiding common mistakes will get you to a fair settlement and on with your life. Divorce is tough but it’s also an opportunity for personal growth. Embrace the change, set new goals and look forward to the next chapter of your journey.
Is James Ready Now?
“Well, I stayed awake the whole time there, Chris. I’m impressed with myself and with all the info you supplied me with,” he said.
“So do you think if you knew any of this earlier, you might have stopped fighting to save your marriage sooner?” I asked him.
“I think so. Now that I have you on my side, and I know you can prepare me and build a strategy for me, I’m ready. I’m done fighting with her, and you can do it,” he said.
“I’m glad I’ve already made you feel ready,” I told him. “So, do you have a personal support system to help you get through this?”
“I’ve got my sister. She owes me her ear. And three of my buddies are divorced, so while we don’t usually talk too personally, they are there. I’ve been to therapy in the past, so I can always start that again if needed,” James said.
“And I’m here for you on that front, too. But I want to start preparing you for the process. Do you understand all the documentation you have to gather and decisions you’ll have to make?” I asked.
“I mean, it’s all there in your guide. So I know what I have to do. I’ll just need your help pushing me to do so and weigh all the options, so we make the right decisions,” James told me. “But I am ready, I am.”
“Okay, well, I’m ready too. Let’s reconvene next week, make sure you are still ready, and if so, start talking about filing the papers and making our strategy. I’ll need you to come fully prepared with a list of your assets/debts as well as a clear vision for what you want.” I told him.
“I’ll be ready; thanks, Chris,” James said.
Schedule a Consultation With Our Firm to Learn the Top Strategies for Divorce
Strategizing for and navigating a divorce in Texas can be stressful and challenging, but you do not have to face it alone. Our team of experienced Dallas family attorneys is ready to provide you with the guidance, support, and legal advocacy you need during these challenging times.
Whether you are trying to strategize for your divorce in Texas or navigating other divorce-related issues, we are here to help you every step of the way. We welcome you to schedule a consultation with our expert divorce lawyers to discuss your situation and case objectives. We can answer your legal questions and discuss how we can help you move forward. Call our law office at (888) 584-9614 or contact us online to schedule your consultation.
