As a family law attorney here in Texas, I’m often the recipient of calls after wives find out that their husbands have formally filed for divorce. Sometimes he tells them, and sometimes they find out when they get the paperwork. Either way, it’s time for them to get prepared for the reality of getting divorced, even if they think their husbands are just bluffing like Cathy did.
“Chris, I don’t think he wants to go through with it, but what if he does?” a distressed Cathy began as soon as I picked up the phone. “He told me he filed the paperwork for our divorce. I don’t get it, I was the one who was threatening him with divorce. He was the one who kept begging me to stay.”
“Cathy, that prelude to divorce dance is a common one. Sometimes, the person who says they want to make it work, just gets tired of the threats and quietly makes plans to get out,” I told her.
“I really do hope that you can work it out. Sometimes once the legal documents get filed, it puts pressure on a couple to seriously get working on their problems. Have you been to counseling yet?” I asked her.
“No, I refused when he recommended it. Maybe I should have gone. I was just… oh forget it Chris, the fact is, he filed for divorce I don’t know what to do,” Cathy said.
“Well you did know what to do. You called me. And I know what to do,” I told her. “So we’re going to play both sides. We’re going to hope he is bluffing, but we’re also going to get you prepared to be served the paperwork and take the legal steps necessary to get you the best possible outcome in case he is serious about getting divorced. Please allow me to map out the space you might be about to enter.”
“Sounds good Chris, I’m scared, but I’m ready,” she said. “My ears are open.”
Facing divorce like Cathy is rarely easy, especially when your husband initiates the process. Your uncertain future may cause questions to arise about what to expect. This guide provides a general roadmap for women in Texas navigating this challenging experience.
Understanding the Texas divorce process empowers you to make informed decisions and protect your rights. So let’s address the common question: “What happens if my husband filed for divorce first in Texas?”
Initial Steps After He Files
First, try to remain calm. Accept that you will be served divorce papers, called a Petition for Divorce. This document, filed in the Texas court where one of you has resided for at least 90 days, formally starts the divorce proceeding. Read these papers carefully to understand your husband’s requests and consult with your own divorce attorney.
Texas is a no-fault divorce state. This means your husband doesn’t need to prove any specific wrongdoing or fault in order to get a divorce. Instead, he only needs to claim that conflicts or differences exist that make reconciliation impossible.
The Automatic Temporary Orders in Texas Divorce Cases
A court order called a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) or Temporary Injunction activates simultaneously with the initial filing. This order limits actions both spouses can take. For example, there are financial restrictions that aim to prevent actions like emptying joint bank accounts, disposing of marital property, and incurring new debt.
Responding to the Petition
You will have approximately 20 days after being served to file an answer with the court. In a Texas divorce proceeding, an answer is a formal, written response filed by the respondent (the spouse who did not file for divorce) in response to the petition for divorce. It is important to file your answer promptly to avoid a default judgment, where the court grants your husband’s requests without your input.
Seek legal representation to protect your interests. A divorce lawyer can help you navigate temporary orders, child custody, and spousal support.
Contested or Uncontested Divorce
If you agree with your husband’s terms, you can pursue an uncontested divorce. This path simplifies and expedites the divorce process. It also minimizes the filing fee. Texas courts offer forms for simple uncontested cases without children or property disputes.
Disagreements about property division, child custody, or spousal support lead to a contested divorce. Legal counsel becomes crucial in contested cases. You’ll need a family law attorney to protect your rights, particularly if there are issues like substance abuse affecting the family.
Temporary Orders and Discovery
Either spouse can request temporary orders for pressing concerns like child custody arrangements, temporary child support, or financial support. Consult a divorce attorney or resources like FreeLegalAnswers.org for assistance.
Discovery is the next phase in a contested divorce. This process allows both sides to gather information. Discovery tools include written questions (interrogatories), document requests, and depositions (recorded, out-of-court testimony). Your divorce attorney will guide you through this phase.
Mediation and Trial
Mediation offers a couple the chance to negotiate a divorce settlement without going to court by using a neutral third party mediator. The mediator can help you resolve disputes on your own avoiding the stress of going to court. Successful mediation results in a settlement agreement with less fighting.
If mediation fails, or the case involves complex child custody disputes or substantial community property, a trial follows. A judge makes decisions on issues like property division, spousal support, child support, and custody.
Child Custody and Support in Texas
In cases involving minor children, Texas prioritizes the child’s best interest. Texas prefers joint custody when feasible. The court can award sole managing conservatorship to one parent in certain situations. The court makes a determination on matters concerning the marital residence. Decisions consider factors like family violence or substance abuse.
If a final order regarding child custody and visitation arrangements is already in place, it can expedite the divorce process.
Child support is calculated based on Texas guidelines, considering both parents’ incomes and the number of children. The guidelines aim to ensure adequate financial resources for the child’s needs. It’s crucial to gather financial documents like pay stubs and tax returns to support your case
Property Division in Texas Divorces
Texas follows community property laws. This means that in a Texas divorce, community property laws classify most assets and debts acquired during the marriage as jointly owned by both spouses, regardless of whose name is on the title or who earned the income. Thus marital assets acquired during the marriage are divided fairly, often equally. It is important to gather financial documents to ensure a complete inventory of marital assets.
Separate property, such as assets owned before marriage or inheritances, is generally not subject to division. Certain exceptions exist, like commingling separate and community property.
Preparing for the Divorce Process
Regardless of who files first, you should take proactive steps to prepare once the divorce proceedings are initiated. These steps include:
- Gather financial documentation: Organize your financial records. This includes bank statements, tax returns, investment account summaries, credit card statements, and retirement account statements. This information is crucial during the divorce process.
- Seek emotional support: Divorce is a difficult process, so leaning on your support network is essential. Talk to your friends, family, therapist, or a support group. Taking care of your mental health during this time can be just as important as taking care of your legal rights.
FAQ About What Happens if My Husband Filed for Divorce First in Texas
Is it better to be the filing spouse in a divorce?
Some believe filing first offers a strategic advantage, because doing so can set the initial pace and impact the court location. However, whether it offers a real benefit depends on individual circumstances.
The initial filing involves submitting the divorce petition, paying the court filing fee, and initiating the formal divorce proceedings. Being the filing spouse allows you to present your case first in court. You set the initial terms, but the overall process and final outcome depends on many factors.
What should I do if my husband files for divorce?
Contact a qualified Texas divorce attorney immediately to discuss your situation and protect your rights. There’s a waiting period before a divorce is finalized, but immediate action safeguards your interests.
Gather your financial documents and consider consulting other professionals. These might include financial advisors, accountants, and therapists. They can provide support during this stressful time. Remember to check the specific local laws in your county. Having legal counsel helps with court hearings, custody disputes, and negotiating temporary orders while ensuring the division of property adheres to community property standards.
How to deal with pending divorce?
You should focus on both practical and emotional matters. Manage your finances, take care of your well-being, and find reliable support. Think about your children. Consider short-term things like temporary custody as the divorce proceedings get underway and long-term considerations like the type of custody arrangements that will work best for them after the divorce is settled.
Who loses the most in a divorce?
Divorce affects everyone differently. The impact varies based on the marriage, settlement, emotional hardship, and financial consequences. Changes in living arrangements, social networks, and family relationships can add to the challenges. Your legal team will strive for the most favorable outcome while addressing concerns such as determining spousal support.
Conclusion
When your husband initiates divorce, understanding the Texas process is paramount. From receiving the divorce petition to navigating child custody and property division, each step requires careful consideration.
Seeking legal counsel from experienced divorce attorneys, gathering financial documentation, and preparing for the legal process can ease your journey. Stay informed, protect your rights, and focus on a favorable outcome for yourself and your family.
What Will Cathy Do?
“Chris, all that legal stuff just made me more scared. I really don’t want to deal with this. I don’t want a divorce,” she said.
“Cathy, you are facing two questions here. Whether you want to stay with your husband, and whether you want to deal with getting a divorce.” I explained. “Nobody wants to deal with getting a divorce, but many people do want to end their marriages. So first, you need to answer the fundamental question, do you want to stay with your husband and fight for your marriage? If so, you should try. But if not, while I know it’s scary, this is your chance to get out, and I am here to guide you. It won’t be as bad as you think, and you might be happier on the other side of the process.”
“Chris, you’re on to something. Getting served a petition for divorce from him is a blow to my ego. I don’t like the idea at all. But really, I think I’m more scared of the divorce process than I am about actually being divorced. I think I might like the end result. I just don’t want to deal with all the confrontation and legal stuff,” she said.
“Understood, but you can’t let that scare you away from doing the necessary work. I’ll make it as easy as possible, I promise,” I assured her. “But first off, you need to get clear on what you want. Do you hear me?”
“I do Chris. I’m going to have a talk with my husband and see if he still wants to try counseling. We owe it to our good times. But at the same time, if he won’t go, I’m going to start thinking about how to answer his petition for divorce. If he’s for real, I’ll be ready to gather my financial documentation, and set up my emotional support system. Most importantly, I need to get real about what I want for the kids.”
“Sounds like a plan Cathy,” I said. “Please let me know when you are served the formal paperwork and then we’ll make a timeline. In the meantime, talk with your husband and try to get real clear on what it is that you really want. I’m all for saving marriages if possible, but if you decide to get out, let’s do it right.”
Schedule a Consultation With Our Firm if Your Husband Filed for Divorce First
It can feel stressful and challenging when your husband filed first for divorce in Texas, but you do not have to face it alone. Our team of experienced Dallas family attorneys is ready to provide you with the guidance, support, and legal advocacy you need during these challenging times.
Whether you are trying to figure out what to do after your husband filed for divorce, or navigating other divorce related issues, we are here to help you every step of the way. We welcome you to schedule a consultation to discuss your situation and case objectives. We can answer your legal questions and discuss how we can help you move forward. Call our law office at (888) 584-9614 or contact us online to schedule your consultation. Get Help Now!
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